SKools over Officially
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Okay its me again. Time to blow off TONS of STEAM that is stored up in me as USual. MOOd swings are getting into my head again, ghosts of the past return to haunt me, theres project work oral presentation coming, CHinese Ao level.........holiday homework...........................................................WOW! life is " SO GOOD" YEAH >>> Pukes blood
Alrite today marks the end of jc1 officially. IN my mind, i'm happy why? cOs i just had about enough struggling to stay afloat in this schoool or for that matter my class. SInce MAy, life has been a struggle........literally and metaphorically........okay not in the financial sense........my basic needs are met. Yet i am a beggar in some aspects of life that teenagers CRAvE for.........eg. having a wide social circle and being able to interact with pple normally. PEople want to be accepted , POpularity is the so called ultimate aim to many teens who blindly chase this goal.
I spoke to BRO paul on wednesday or rather i had to as i missed the JC1 retreat and he demanded that i see him to give an explaination. It was a long talk as i whined about my life, the problems i faced eg. i am losing faith in god, hardly go to church, dun wanna believe that god can make things happen...........basically all the SHIT>>>>>> i then finally told him that i was struggling just to get by in school with thoughts of withdrawing from school especially after i learned about "class politics" in late april.......THAT incident changed my life, it almost destroyed me...........i was paralysed.......i could feel the outgoing side of me VAPORIES, withdrawing and sobing self wallow
This continued for like 5 MONTHS though i tried everything to run away from this problem, turning to old friends, burning myself out, still the thing is i thought i was not in the wrong. I tell u, if u are me and found out what happened, i'll sae u must be super holy if u don't become %*( pissed off..
SO dun accuse me of BEING so KPO, and thickskin .......COS U HAVENT GONE THROUGH WHAT I WHEN THROUGH
Bro paul opened my eyes , he said that i was merely avoiding the source of the problem. He said I MUST CHANGE MYSELF, ADMIT IT WAS PARTIALLY MY FAULT, i have too much PRIDE. THose words stunned me, how many times were u in a situation and when things when bad, u tend to blame others anione but yourself. He told me to take one step at a time, to break the ice that had formed between me and those people.
He said that going to another school or Poly which i am seriously considering is only running away from the problem. BUT i seriously dun wanna care, i just want all this shit to disappear, yet i noe that this problem might surface again in another place. iT IS INEVITABLE. What the heck, i want to think that going to poly will make my life better, but there is always the possibility that things might end up like this. SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well in any case, i guess i have to believe that i can make things improve by taking one step at a time, whether i go to poly or not.........i have to seriously think it over...........this will inadvertently change my life again........entering another phase, the unknown.
Heres i song that i like
I miss you miss you)Hello there the angel from my nightmareThe shadow in backround of the morgueThe unsespecting victim of darkness in the valleyWe can live like Jack and Sally if we wantWhere you can always find meAnd we'll have Halloween on ChristmasAnd in the night we'll wish this never ends We'll wish this never endWhere are you and I'm so sorryI cannot sleep I cannot dream tonightI need somebody and alwaysThis sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting everytimeAnd as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiderscatching things and eating their insidesLike indecision to call youAnd hear your voice of treasonWill you come home and stop this pain tonightstop this pain tonightDon't waste your time on me your already the voice inside my head(6x)I miss you miss you(6x)
Blink 182
Nitez peepz cya later
1:04:00 AM
WTF
Saturday, October 16, 2004
THe following entry has been rated NC 16 so minors pls procees with caution...
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IMAGINE HAVING ALL YOUR WORK,pictures ,files , all gone
COS U GOT TO REFORMAT THE COMP IN ORDER TO ACCESS WINDOWS
SCREW THE PERSON WHO CREATED THAT VIRUS
HE/SHE/IT CAN KISS MY CANDY A@@
BLEAHZ, no HE/SHE/IT will get sent to the pits of HELL
I hope it will get a taste of the law and get thrown in jail
IN short. THIS SUX
ARGH....................................................F***, neva been this pissed for ages.........and i thought things would be getting better with the promos over BUT NO>>>>....<<<<
Yeah and i will be more careful too in the future.....i have to
11:12:00 PM
Lyrics...........
Friday, October 08, 2004
Artist: Skye Sweetnam Song: Tangled Up In Me
Lyrics :
You wanna know more, more, more about me I'm the girl who's kicking the coke machine I'm the one that's honking at you cuz I left late again
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, Ya! Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction Ya! Hey! Hey! Get tangled up in me
You wanna know more, more, more about me Gotta know reverse phsychology I'm the reason why you can't get to sleep I'm the girl you never get just quite what you see
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, Ya! Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction Ya! Hey! Hey! Get tangled up in me
You think that you know me You think that I'm only When everything I do is only to get tangled up in you You wanna know more, more, more about me I'm the girl that's sweeping you off your feet
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Could you see I want you by the way I push you away Ya! Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction, Ya!
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me
hm i luv this song ..makes u feel full of spunk.......too bad i'm not a girl..........they could change it to "i'm the guy that kicking the beer machine" haha i think this song tells people how complicated relationships are among people . THis world is complicated
Oh yeah PROMOS ARE ALMOST OVER,
REJOICE HORAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
i can forget about mugging for some time hahahahha
MATHS WAS SCREWED UP, hm econs is ok, history i managed to perfect the skill of waffling ahahaha yupx hopefully i can pass, keeping fingers crossed now
10:53:00 PM
The battle to be promoted
Monday, October 04, 2004
war has been declared and the enemy here are exam sheets that must be filled up. What u fill up in those sheet ultimately determines the fate of you, in my case whether you can move up to JC2..whats required 2A's and 2AO passes is needed. SOunds easy? NO it is not really that easy.....considering if u have 3 A subjects and are going to flunk one....and the chances of passing GP aint that high..THis isnt going to be pretty, hey who said exams were pretty...they cause you to flip around in bed having nitemares bout teachers showing you scripts full of red marks, they cause pimples to erupt on your face like ur suffering from acne, it causes your parents to nag at you to study, study, study.........STRESS? YOU bet? WOrried? NOT really..
THe trick is to take things one at a time, dun panic. Today i had econs which frankly i only studied bout 60%, hm i think i can scrape through, tomolo will be judgement day cos i got this subject called HISTORY OR HERSTORY for those feminists out there. Whats the big deal? its like erm info overload, man i can only dread what happens tomolo..well all i can do is hope for the best
hm lets c over the weekend went to study with a friend on SAt at the library in queenstown, i didnt noe it closes at 5 pm on weekdays, after had one hour of pool... at a rather run down place but the price was reasonably cheap. After that had dinner at BK at holland village, saw Samuel as i was leaving the place.
Sunday was the first time i bought some stuff that i wanted for a long time, a quiksilver t-shirt yupx..costs is 46 dollars but i dun mind that... and i also bought a car magazine..yupx recently gained some interests in the realm of cars...yupx especially those supercharged cars that get your adredeline pumping when u step on the accelerator.
Yupx thats all for now, Chow!
6:33:00 PM
